Wednesday, December 29, 2010

2010...looking back

As the stinging cold days of December join us in bidding farewell to 2010, I cannot help but think back on what a crazy, lazy, exciting, challenging and absolute growing year it has been.  I will forever look at 2010 as my year of change (or at least until a year of more change replaces it).  I could sit here and bore you with all the changes, but I will spare you the details…
It was said by Friedrich Nietzsche that “That which does not kill us makes us stronger”.  Of this I can personally attest.  Through all the tribulation and trials I refuse to see 2010 as anything but a very important  learning year.  There have been too many tribulations to share, but that is the whole idea.  There is beauty in sadness.  Wisdom in folly and experience is a very thorough teacher.  The troubles that come into our lives do not always have to be “trouble”.  Sometimes obstacles are put into our paths not so that we may step over them, not so that we may step around them, but so we can stop dead in our tracks, tarry awhile, and wonder how they got there in the first place-- and make sure that they don’t end up there again.  Sometimes in stopping short, we are forced to let the others on our path continue on without us for a time, until we can join them and be the person we need to be. 
It has been said that “We are what we are”…I can personally attest to this also…but, with one clarification…sometimes the We that we are, can refer to the We that we become.  Let me explain…We have the ability to change!!!  Yes, it’s true…no longer is the excuse valid that we must remain the same…
Not one of us are capable of perceiving ourselves as others see us.  We can only cling to those whom
we find as part of lives and hope that their perception of us is favorable….but in doing so, those same people are expected to accept and love us with our faults…and though they love us with those faults, they are forced to endure those negative personality traits in the name of friendship. 
This year I learned much.  This year I learned that though I have people in my life who love me, who support me…who are there for me…I don’t have to force my problems and circumstances onto them.  This year I learned to remain quiet when others spoke of their problems.  I learned to listen with concern, to hug with sincerity and to cry with real tears of concern…..even though inside my own heart was breaking, my body was in agonizing pain, my world was crumbling around me, despite my tribulations… I learned to listen to them.  I learned to hear the pain in others.  And though there were times when I failed, I diligently tried to keep my burdens on my own shoulders.  This year, I learned to look at why others are the way they are before judging them.  That we all are struggling.  This year, I learned the importance of tolerance.  This year I learned the art of listening.
Now as I push my back against the last remaining days of 2010 and expectantly reach to embrace the promise of the coming year….I can do so, knowing, that I have learned the lesson that I was required to learn.  I have learned the insignificance of self.  I have learned that I am merely a drop in the same pool that twinkles with the light of those around me.  Although, I have a long journey ahead to make me the person I hope to become, I will follow the guidance of Ralph Waldo Emerson when he quoted “Make yourself necessary to somebody.”
Happy 2011…and be kind to one another.