Wednesday, January 19, 2011

Freudian Slip? Not even close!

I would just like to say publicly that I really- really- really like my new job.  Even though it is technically only a six month duration, I wake up every morning hoping that some universal wind will blow with just the right temperature and velocity and the pendulum of fate will swing things in my direction…but until it does, I need to diligently continue my daily plug to make myself both liked, useful and necessary around the office.
This being said, I have to tell you a little story about what happened to me yesterday.  Having awakened to a terrible winter snow/sleet storm and after a horrific 2 hour-20 minute commute that normally takes about 50 minutes; I set about my morning to accomplish enough to justify my tardiness.  I was zipping around making changes to spreadsheets, answering my emails, working on whatever tasks had been given me when I took a little break to use the ladies room.  I know, a little too much over-sharing, but necessary to the story being told.  Now, the skirt that I had on was a heavy almost to the ankle stretch corduroy that has a tendency to ride up at the waistline (TMI again, but still necessary).  Well when I “arranged” myself after my break, and tugged at my skirt to bring it back down around my waist where it belonged, apparently I also inadvertently and unknowingly tugged my slip down to below my hips.  I know, at this point you are imagining what comes next…
I then proceeded to my desk where I hit the CTRL Print command on the document I was working on and sauntered over to the community printer in our office.  On the way there, I was greeted by an always friendly executive admin who was seated right outside of the office of her boss—the CEO of the very company that I am hoping beyond all hope to become a permanent part of.   I paused about 10 to 15 feet from her cubicle to make small talk over the half wall of her cubicle (she as always was friendly, and gracious).  After a couple of minutes, the small talk had become too small to make any larger, and I went to walk away.  It was then that I felt a gentle swoosh against my calf and ankles.  Looking down to see if I had dropped something, I saw a crumpled mass of sateen lazily embracing my lower extremities like a serpent.  I immediately flushed, and looking up was relieved to see that my co-worker had already focused on her own task without noticing my little “slip”.  I then very quickly and with as little awkwardness as possible stepped out of the garment, scooped it up and shoved it under my arm in a lump, holding my printed page close to me to hide the bulge under my close fitting cardigan.  Thankfully, I thought to myself, because of meetings and the storm, the only ones present in my work area were myself and the other admin…the one who sits right outside of the office of the CEO of the company—the company that I hope beyond all hope to become a permanent part of. (wait, did I already say that?).
After sheepishly slinking back to my desk, undergarment in hand--sort of, I sat down and stuffed the item into the middle part of my purse and that was that.  After I sat down and thought about what had just transpired,  began to snicker, and giggle….and giggle some more…and then outright laugh.  I am sure that had anyone heard me (and I am SURE that my admin co-worker had), they would have thought me to have serious issues, the kind more serious than just dropping my undergarments for all to see, whether accidentally or not. 
After a few minutes I again re-focused on the tasks at hand and somewhat forgot about the incident. 
Now, the place where I sit is located in a very high traffic are of the office, kind of right in the main area where anyone approaching our floor walks.  The Vice Presidents and the CEO and other admins walk by my cubicle to get to their offices and desks.  I had been at my desk since returning from my little “incident” and no one had walked by to either arrive or leave...I would have noticed.  Besides, as you may recall, I had mentioned that it was only me and the executive Admin in the area.  As I sat working, I heard footsteps behind me coming from the area of the community printer.  Hearing the approach, I looked up expecting to greet the admin who would be wearing a knowing smile—Just then who did I see?  The CEO walks right by my desk!  The same CEO that sits directly across from the scene of the atrocity!  I immediately flushed and looked away, and then began giggling again to myself (much more quietly as the CEO was still just feet from my cubicle).  Had he seen it?  Had he been there the whole time and seen the whole thing?  Of all people to have possibly whitnessed it!  Even worse than his very classy executive admin—HIM…The Very English accented CEO!  Now, did I mention that this is the company that I hope beyond all hope to become a permanent part of?   Later, at lunchtime, as I sat at lunch telling my daughter of the morning’s event (we work at the same place), I could just imagine him telling his wife when he got home last night, “The bloody temp dropped her knickers!!!” I still chuckle at the thought of it.  I don’t think I will make eye contact with him for a few days just in case…
I don’t know if my words have conveyed the humor of the scenario of yesterday’s event or not, but trust me, I didn’t think the story could get any funnier! Alas, today is a new day, and having put my embarrassment behind me I came in this morning to get down to business.
So, I was just in my cubicle taking a little breather and talking to THE executive admin (The admin to the CEO of the company that I hope beyond all hope to become a permanent part of) and when I reached into my pocketbook to pull out my wallet to show her a picture of my precious grandbabies, I fully opened the purse and three guesses what was staring up at the two of us like a white devil….


  1. You are just SO good, misfit! And you know I would have been laughing like crazy along with you...I'm really enjoying your blog, BTW.