Thursday, May 5, 2011

A humorous reminder that God's word is eternal and unchanging.

I was sent this email by a friend and just had to share it.  Even though I didn't write it, I am so sorry I didn't, so I just have to paste it here for your reading enjoyment and the hope that it will give you some chuckles like it did me. 
In her radio show, Dr Laura Schlesinger said that, as an observant Orthodox Jew, homosexuality is an abomination according to Leviticus 18:22, and
cannot be condoned under any circumstance.

The following response is an open letter to Dr. Laura, penned by Professor
James M. Kauffman, Ed.D. It was posted on the Internet. It's funny, as well as informative:

Dear Dr. Laura:

Thank you for doing so much to educate people regarding God's Law. I have
 learned a great deal from your show, and try to share that knowledge with as
 many people as I can. When someone tries to defend the homosexual lifestyle,
 for example, I simply remind them that Leviticus 18:22 clearly states it to
 be an abomination ... End of debate.

I do need some advice from you, however, regarding some other elements of God's Laws and how to follow them.

1. Leviticus 25:44 states that I may possess slaves, both male and female,
    provided they are purchased from neighboring nations. A friend of mine
    claims that this applies to Mexicans, but not Canadians. Can you clarify?
    Why can't I own Canadians?

2. I would like to sell my daughter into slavery, as sanctioned in Exodus 21:7.
    In this day and age, what do you think would be a fair price for her?

3. I know that I am allowed no contact with a woman while she is in her
    period of Menstrual uncleanliness - Lev.15: 19-24. The problem is how do I
    tell? I have tried asking, but most women take offense.

4. When I burn a bull on the altar as a sacrifice, I know it creates a
    pleasing odor for the Lord - Lev.1:9. The problem is my neighbors. They
    claim the odor is not pleasing to them. Should I smite them?

5. I have a neighbor who insists on working on the Sabbath. Exodus 35:2
   clearly states he should be put to death. Am I morally obligated to kill him
   myself, or should I ask the police to do it?

6. A friend of mine feels that even though eating shellfish is an
   abomination, Lev. 11:10, it is a lesser abomination than homosexuality. I
   don't agree. Can you settle this? Are there 'degrees' of abomination?

7. Lev. 21:20 states that I may not approach the altar of God if I have a
   defect in my sight. I have to admit that I wear reading glasses. Does my
   vision have to be 20/20, or is there some wiggle-room here?

8. Most of my male friends get their hair trimmed, including the hair around
    their temples, even though this is expressly forbidden by Lev. 19:27. How
    should they die?

9. I know from Lev. 11:6-8 that touching the skin of a dead pig makes me
    unclean, but may I still play football if I wear gloves?

10. My uncle has a farm. He violates Lev.19:19 by planting two different
     crops in the same field, as does his wife by wearing garments made of two
     different kinds of thread (cotton/polyester blend). He also tends to curse
     and blaspheme a lot. Is it really necessary that we go to all the trouble of
     getting the whole town together to stone them? Lev.24:10-16. Couldn't we
    just burn them to death at a private family affair, like we do with people
    who sleep with their in-laws? (Lev. 20:14)

I know you have studied these things extensively and thus enjoy considerable
 expertise in such matters, so I'm confident you can help.

 Thank you again for reminding us that God's word is eternal and unchanging.

Your adoring fan,

James M. Kauffman, Ed.D. Professor Emeritus, Dept. Of Curriculum,
 Instruction, and Special Education University of Virginia

(It would be a @#$% shame if we couldn't own a Canadian :)

I hope you laugh as much as I did....

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